sexxi_bambi's Xanga

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:11:42 GMT

update: new blog (i promise no more jumping around).
I love getting feedback and comments so pls help support my new blog.
thanks a millions =)
♥ http://misscindee.blogspot.com ♥

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 21:00:55 GMT

due to ppl stealing my pictures and pretending to be me i have decided to stop posting personal pictures on xanga until i come up with a clever solution to this problem. i feel violated & definitely vulnerable not knowing what others say or do with my identity. i believe that we are all individuals with our own special things to offer to this world. why are ppl so afraid to be themselves and show the world who they are instead of pretending to be other ppl? if we can all just shine in our own way we would have so much to contribute to this world and to other ppl's lives. we all have diff strengths and talents that make us beautiful. why hold back?

i have been hesitate to post anything up because even the words that i express are robbed from me. i shouldnt let such petty things hold me back from expressin myself to the world & i wont. i am working on a website currently and i believe that will defintely give me more control in this matter. thanks for all the ppl that have supported me thru xanga. pls check back for updates.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Sun, 27 May 2007 16:28:44 GMT

another one of my creations.....
sorry for the lack of updates. ill be returning soon since im ready to quit my day job and chase my dream FULLTIME!!
thanks for all the messages & comments(im not being a snob) i really appreciate them even tho ive been gone for so long.
dont worry ill be back soon.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:50:08 GMT

damn...havent been partying for a while....this was taken last saturday at shark's club.

i dont mean to hide from everyone but i honestly have so much stuff i want to finish before summer rolls around. yesterday was my last class for corsetry...and once i get my camera fixed(yes, again! i always break it when im drunk) ill post pics up. im workin on a project with corsets so stay tuned for that. im also workin on my website which is coming along rather slowly. i typed up codes from scratch for websites i made in the past. i even went to private school to take multimedia but this time i want to use dreamweaver. when do i have time to learn a new program? sometimes i think i bite off more than i can chew. im kind of a control freak and i want to do everything myself.... maybe for once i should ask for help. =P

these are the 2 books im currently reading. If you have a chance pick up a copy. =)
or go search the internet for a summary of what they are about. im too lazy to write about it rite now.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:42:20 GMT

exposed like a turtle without its shell
stripped like the paint peeling off the side of a building
goosebumps emerging on bareskin while sitting in a night gown waiting in the doctors room
naked.
exposed.
bare...and
vulnerable.

when was the last time you felt this way? ive been feeling this way lately....trying to strip myself of the many layers i have painted on over the years. the top few layers were easy to take off but the closer i get to my authentic self the more harder i have to scrape at it. old beliefs & childhood conditioning seem to be the hardest because they always seem to leave an annoying film of residue. i feel vulnerable. painfully vulnerable...my feelings are tender & uncovered but at the same time i feel a quiet strength emerging from underneath.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:12:47 GMT

Im simply in love with John Galliano's Spring Couture collection for Dior this year. Ive always been a fan of John Galliano. His pieces are so outrageous. His spring collection has a lot of unique silhouettes and each piece looks like it was origami folded. BRILLIANT

Friday, February 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:46:33 GMT

Thanks for everyone's comments & words of comfort. Im feeling a lot better today. I get in that mood every once in a while. I usually feel the most alive when im sad. But after the storm passes i am always delighted to see a rainbow appear before me. This is what ive learned this time around...You attract whatever you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwated so if you are curious about what you are putting out there, look at what you are attracting. Dont focus on what you lack. Instead focus on what you have.

Things that i want to attract more of in my life:

* Fullfilling, meaningful relationships
* Money
* Oppurtunities for creative expression
* Supportive and sincere ppl
* Oppurtunities to see the world (Toronto, Montreal, LA & maybe New york this summer)
* Creative energy
* Healthy lifestyle

bikini season is only a few months away...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:09:26 GMT

I usually feel an urge to write when im sad.
Happy Valentines, everyone
oxo

If my heart were a flower

If my heart were a flower would you impatiently force open my petals with your fingers
If my heart were a flower would you carelessly trip over it with your feet
If my heart was a flower would you drown it with water and dry it up with too much light?
Then you will never have it

If my heart were a flower would you enjoy watching it grow
If my heart were a flower would you take time to appreciate its smell
If my heart were a flower would you nurture it with your gentle hands
If my heart were a flower would you cherish and adore my imperfections
but still be able to enjoy its sweet fragrance?
Then I will be yours

look beyond the layers and there you will find me.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:42:27 GMT

i feel ugly inside. when u feel ugly on the outside its so easy to fix it. i can go work out if im feeling sluggish, i can go for a facial if im feeling my complexion is dull, i can go get my hair done, put on some makeup or i can simply change my frame of mind by reminding myself of who i am on the inside. but what are you supposed to do when you're feeling ugly on the inside? i feel like such a mess right now... and i feel like such a selfish person for not thinking about other ppl's feelings. the damage has been done and all i can do is learn from it. but even if you learn from your mistakes you still have that residue inside...kinda like wanting your hair to be super shiny and soft but failing to rinse out all the conditioner.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 00:26:40 GMT

Hobbies and Interests: singing in the shower, dancing in the rain,putting men in their place, brainstorming on taking over the world, laughing 'till i pee my pants, going on adventures,counting stars, chasing turtles, ripping the bandaids off my heart, searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow